how to say no to a tamale.

Okay so I made it through breakfast without eating cooked food other than coffee...but tamale was the lunch special and when it comes to refusing a tamale...I've got nothing.  And how to make a raw tamale??? you got me there too.  i guess what I'm trying to say is: the masterpieces of cooked cuisine  cannot be substituted...this is my opinion at THIS point in my life, but I am open to suggestions...now, my two new years resolutions involve shotgunning a tallboy and developing a recipe for a raw tamale...I know, I know, I shoot for the sky!  My aspirations are mindboggeling even to myself!  later, Eva